Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A gift

I am going to mediation tomorrow with 1/2 the Waldorf school and a woman whose son said he'd shoot Maisie with his (unlocked) gun. I have spent a lot of time being absolutely furious about this. The incident was small and solution simple. It didn't work out that way. The whole thing has become a hornets' nest and my attempts to take the high ground and ride it out have failed. I finally agreed to go to mediation because I wanted something from the school in return. But I was still mad. Livid. Flames coming out of my head.

But I'm not mad any more. In the past week, I've felt an incredible, prodigious amount of support from friends and community members. I've found a goal to work toward. I've rediscovered my good intentions. I have stacks of emails and notes which show my attempts at reconciliation and contradict any statements otherwise. I have support people who will come and be with me during the mediation process. I have all I need. And I have peace.

A dear friend told me today that I was reminding her of the Hindu Goddess of Durga. I had to look it up to understand what she meant. Wikipedia says:

In Hinduism, the Goddess Durga (दुर्गा, "the inaccessible"[1] or "the invincible") or Maa Durga (Mother Durga) "one who can redeem in situations of utmost distress".[citation needed] Durga is a form of Devi, the supremely radiant goddess, depicted as having ten arms, riding a lion or a tiger, carrying weapons (including a lotus flower), maintaining a meditative smile, and practicing mudras, or symbolic hand gestures.
An embodiment of creative feminine force (
Shakti), Durga exists in a state of svātantrya (dependence on the universe and nothing/nobody else, i.e., self-sufficiency) and fierce compassion. Durga is considered by Hindus to be an aspect of Kali, and the mother of Ganesha, Saraswati, Lakshmi and Kartikeya.[2] She is thus considered the fiercer, demon-fighting form of Lord Shiva's wife, Goddess Parvati. Durga manifests fearlessness and patience, and never loses her sense of humor, even during spiritual battles of epic proportion.

I can't claim to have maintained patience and serenity during all my battles, I do strive to be fearless and keep my since of humor. Tomorrow I will ride my tiger into what will hopefully be the end of the "get out of the tree or I'm going to shoot you in the face" drama. I have made my peace with it, I just want it over now. Wish me luck.


  1. It went well. Maisie gets her friend back. Sort of. But better than the nothing she's had. And she was thrilled to hear that she gets to see her again.

    Maisie, true to form, had concocted all sorts of plans to trick the adults in a way that allowed her a chance to see her friend. Some were a little illegal and involved grand theft auto and breaking and entering. She was just talking, of course, but now she can devote less time to being an evil genius and get back to being a kid.
    Thanks for asking, HP. XO

  2. Hooray!!

    Maisie should still get to work on her evil genius skillz though. And her evil cackle!