Sunday, November 22, 2009

Moment of irony

I was in a bad mood toward the end of the week. Mostly due to the 3 phone calls in 2 days. One from each of my children's teachers.
Julia was having a twitch with her bff about a bird nest she wanted out of a tree and her bff, who is tall, was willing to admit the obvious problem with trying to get it down. Julia was furious that said bff was not trying harder. Also, Julia, being her Mother's daughter, joined in another friend's made up rude song about the eurythmy teacher. Julia doesn't have an issue with this teacher, but good friend she is, she had to support her friend's vengeance through song. And she got busted.

Maisie was in the dog house for being loud. Imagine that. There is some girl drama in her class and Maisie has no patience for any of it. Oddly, the day before the teacher called to say Maisie was rotten all week, we'd had our parent-teacher conference and the teacher said she had been doing fine lately. (insert sound of banging head)

Tate, meanwhile, has had some issues this year keeping his hands to himself. Again, not shocking info. His best friend is a little boy with whom he tumbles head over heels with and growls at. They get on great because they are not children, they are puppies. This doesn't work so great at school though. Tate's lead teacher was gone on Wednesday and he apparently terrorized the class acting like a maniac. And a steamroller. With predictable results. I think his day would go better if I could attach some SCUBA ankle weights to his legs before sending him into class. It would slow him down and pull him down into his body and back onto this earth. He is so completely oblivious to anything going on around him. He doesn't mean to hurt or freak out other kids, he's just more testosterone than he knows what to do with. Shame you can't bottle that to sell to lazy, fat old men with erectile dysfunction. I'd be rich. And get less teacher phone calls.

Anyway, long story short (like that ever happens with me), the crafty ladies were working on a project for Winter Light Faire (school thing, of course) on Thursday and called to see where I was. I was home with the banished Tate, but they talked me into dragging him out to the come join them. As I was getting ready to go, I glanced out the window. And saw this:

Woah. Twelve wild turkey, giant birds, in my backyard. I've seen a few turkeys around town but never in my yard, and never that many at once. Twelve! I called to Tate was we watched them for about 10 minutes. The cats watched them too. One of the turkeys decided he didn't like the looks of Julia's cat and faced off with her, puffing up and sidestepping towards her until she backed off.

Once the wonder wore off, I started to wish I had a shot gun or a bow and arrow or even a handy baseball (and better aim) so I could catch one for dinner next week. As my wish was hanging in the air, the door bell rang.

It was a ham. A Honeybaked Ham. ? A Thanksgiving ham? (insert twilight zone theme song)

Turns out that they are one of Dave's customers. And they have a small problem with all the turkey consumption on the 4th Thursday of November. And the gods of turkey fowl saw fit to send us one. Personally, I think it's the turkey version of this cow ad, and a darn good story.
Shame I can't photoshop this with turkey heads and different signage. So, as Sesame Street says "You'll just have to use your imagination".

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