Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Song of Tate (or how to torture you child effectively)

Tate is all sorts of difficult these days. So much so that one day he was kicked out of the school's aftercare program for non-compliance and since I was in a meeting and couldn't get him, by friend's husband, Mike, came for him. Tate was not happy with the carseat situation in Mike's car and took off running across the parking lot. Long story short, Tate was caught and wrestled into the car and the "I Don't Want To" song was started.

The original words were just "Tate doesn't want to, Tate doesn't want to..." but this morning after another chasing, wrestling match I added some verses. Here's a reference only Jenn will get: "Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes:"

The "I Don't Want To" Song

I don't want to put on my shoes,
I don't want to go with you!
I will try to make you late,
I don't want to - I am Tate.

I don't want to share my toys,
I don't want to stop making noise!
I don't want to 100 times 8,
I don't want to - I am Tate.

I don't want to, I don't want to,
I don't want to, I don't want to!

I don't want to go to school,
I don't want to follow your rule!
I don't want to clear my plate,
I don't want to - I am Tate.

Now the benefits of torturing your children through song are many. It's legal under the Geneva Conventions and CPS won't object. It's all sorts of fun. It makes the kids so mad at you that they often retreat to their rooms, giving you some peace and quiet. It makes the situation a little more tolerable AND it's a sure guarantee to get your child to stop saying or doing whatever you are singing about. When Mike wrote the original song, Tate went to great lengths to not use the phrase "I don't want to". He obviously relapsed today, but my fine singing skills and song writing technique will certainly make for at least a week of "I don't want to" free days. Maybe longer if I add more verses. And you know I will. :)


  1. LOVE IT! Isn't that why we have children? To torture them as much as they torture us???

  2. Next time you see Jenny McCarthy, you should tell her to tell Jim Carrey that you are STILL referencing In Living Color!

    And speaking of references, there is something distinctly Mrs Piggle Wiggle-like about your I-Don't-Want-To Cure...